Boomr.boom @ the Tumblr!!!

Good hafternoon Tumblr fans! Unless you’re are reading this in America in which case, bugger off! Kindly. This is for the Isles of Britain and her many commonwealths (who, ironically, are much pooorer than England is!!!! I am sorry Africans, for your plight) But Boomer, you ask, in your droads, why are you going on and on about the Africans all a’sudden? Are they planning to spread black across our white canvass earth and make it unto a land of faeces people? Probably. But I only mention them because I watched Zulu this evening with Jimmiy Jam Jim and he cried whenever the whites got shot. I hate to see him upset and has stirred in me feelings wich should deep down have been and so I burned a black man’s gun in his hand.

I am o’so sorry I have not tumb’d in sometime. You must ofhave been grovelling for my vireviews and had no such luck because I haven’t writt none. The reason for my stranger idiosynthrticisms in speechcraft arise from the fact also too that I ave been away these past months aboard a cruise ship around the world. One could say I enjoyed my worldly adventures….literally this time! And, wait for it, I had a lip-smackingly KFC smashing time! It (that’s the it I told you about) was my honeymoon you see, to celebrate the wedding of my Husbandwife  Jiminy this lasting Sunday. It was a most lavish affair, with lots of hot passionate sexinbed! Her name was Dorres and her locks of mint rolled most danglingly down the front of her wretched hatchet face, for of course I swept the hair in that way to avoid looking at the putrid rotting of her lips. Here is a picture taken from Book-Face’s Facebook;: http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=cleft+palate+correction+surgery&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&rlz=1C1SKPL_enGB453GB453&biw=1024&bih=677&tbm=isch&tbnid=m6kjW435gVm1UM:&imgrefurl=https://smiletrainorg.wordpress.com/tag/cleft-lip-surgery/&docid=fPfYru0cgIfIwM&imgurl=http://smiletrainorg.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/taina-dos-santos_age8_before_frontal-cu1.jpg&w=277&h=280&ei=vszfTrSWKIfHswaLv4DhAw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=762&vpy=252&dur=1016&hovh=224&hovw=221&tx=168&ty=120&sig=104509344494181068389&page=6&tbnh=146&tbnw=132&start=73&ndsp=16&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:73

I p]erformed some makshirft surgey on her in the night and now she lookds quite beautiful. I removed the nose for good measure for it could not be sabved by the most skilled surgeojn (in this case Dr.Centipeed) and I also grafter her teets to her eye lids so as she will lactate teary milk when she hits puberty in 8 years or so! Ho ho ho, naughty Boomer!

But I dyecress. The purposeness of this articulate article was to make a most important review. A review of the Honey moon I shared with my most insolent AND impotent huzzybuzzy Jiminy J Jim! It was God awful! Shit is the word. And much of it! As for the Moon part, well there was none! I caught a flash of something pink and blonde hairede when I surprised Jiminy on the B-day, but I was forced to find my spermdunk elsewhere. In the end I settled for the pool aboard the ship. Filled to the brim! Needless to say

Jiminy, I give you minus six out of two for that pisspoor, poohpungent wedding and cherry losing. A curse on you and all our descendants! NO, A MILLION! May you burn in your Christian hell for this sinful. By the way, I could not wait that long, so step into the bathroom where I have set up a makeshift Hell from oil and acid. NOW JIMINY

NO! Tis not Hawk-King on another mad redrum rampage! It is a fraction of a most fabluous film that one’s truly had the pleasure of perceiving this very day! Why, so excellent was it that Boomer had to boom on home spritely-like to write this very revue so that you two (Astonishing Awesome and Cowboys and Pixels) can boom away and view it yourselves! On the Tumblr of curse, which is where you watch everything on account of your poverty. Boom who?

The filmovie is, wrth gwrs, Jonny English 2 Reborn¬! I could not wait. Not even one decade which is what I ended up waiting to my disgrunt. Hence I am very angr;’d at Jon for taking such plumness of time from the vine but I nevrlthless want watch very more jch,.

Jiminy is feeding me currently and I s complaining that I bit off his finger in the doing, but it was hanging off anyway such is his deformity like a face with two Beadle-hands poking out and taking the nose on hooks with them! Cry away to your hospital if you must, Jiminy, but I must tell the world of this groundbreaker masterbatorpiece.

Jiminy attempted STOOPIDLY to phopne the ambulance on my i-Phone so I have confistated it like a good father son-luvver and am using it to write up the remainder of my review. My plan is to push send both on here and computer and that the internet will force my two reviews together like the siamese! Fortunately I have sent the ambulance away so we will not be disturbed, EXCEPT BY THE SIGTE OF JIMINEE’S UGLY FACE PASTE!!!!

Now 2 move rapuidly from the ugly to the beautifu;l. This film brought tears to my bLoomin’ eyes, which as the womaeaen will tell you, NEVER happens. Except to day, where Boomer was brought low on his knees and wept like a soggity infant at this glorious film! More poignant than Christ! Jonny has shown me pleasure such as no man has ever known, thus having completed taste and smell, vision is now perfected for Boomer. The Gesamtkunstwerk is almost complete! 

The film opens li9ke a classic. Jonny has lived amongst the monks and through several HILARIOUS scenes makes his way to the land of monks in suits, a.k.a China where he then goes on a mission. The details ofwitch are a bit too technical for ol’Boomer! Hence the certificate should propbablyu not have been PG but more PGeni-ass! Nevertheless I could roll backwards and forwards in anticipement, boring back a formiddable erection, as the laffs came in both thick and fast. WHY I nearly let the tiger go when Jonny inadvertently piloted a helicopter into some stupidly tall bushells. OH the Ridiculity!

The only downside for me was the casting of Jonny’s sidekick Tucker, firstly in that it was not Kern, and mostly in that his race means he should really have been a bad guy. I suspected all the way through that he would stab Jonny in the back or the chin, but being racially inferior English would have got the better! Perhaps thei’re building his treachery up for Vol. III?? WHO NKOSE! But this sequel certainly twoeres of over its predeccessor in that it shall go down in the tombs of history as THE BEST FILM EVERY MADE. I have begun to weep again so I shall leave you now my following, till next I find something most reviewable. Tattatoes

Why yet again Tumblr! I’ve to make a new tumb about a fasctitious read I once had. And now I will present you with my thoughts on such that you might absorb them into your brain and delude yourselves to thinking that you genisis’d them, but really I told you about them all along and therefore they are mine and copyrighted. Hence; Today’s book is THE GOD DELUSION by Mr. Darwin Dawkins. Co-incidence? Not at all! For one sees, Darwin is the reincarnition of ol’ Dawkin off the fivers!

How do I know this? Tis all in the book, for I read between the lines (3 and 5 off every page) and a startling truth appeared! For example, when Dakwrins says “The God Delusion” what he is actually saying is “LIES LIES LIES!” Upon lies. Memboglarising he is with his big words thinking he is being clever when it is simple to the simplest retarded stump-baby that there is no God! But he continuoues to tell lies as if such! Insofact the made up word God appears no less than 50 six trillion times in his small babybook. His argument, and I share this, is that germs evolved into fish, and then turned on the fish, diseasing them into freakish mud men in Left 4 Dead, which inbred to create humans, and that one day we will inbreed so much as to produce God, all of us, by breeding at the same time. This God will then go back in time and make the germs at peace with the fish, thus preventing evolution. Darkwins has even point-pinned this mass copulation to this cumming” Friday, so best stock up on jonny j’s my kinder!

At face value this book is quite excellent and invigourating, but actually read it and it transpires to be crap. 8 out of 9

Boomer.

WEL”COME" BACk! Boomer here. I have forgotten till naw that this so-called Tumblr exists, and Tumb I shall! So hear goes.#

I have decided to put my excellent brainly interlect to the purpose of producing opinions for you to Share. Tonight I am writing to you to expose the greatest work of fiction since science that is. Namely this book which I have just finished and disgusted me for many nights o’ vomitting. Please take a

[link!] http://www.amazon.co.uk/Madeleine-Kate-McCann/dp/0593067916/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1309896590&sr=1-1

Have you read it? Wasn’t it awful? Yes my friends I am declaring that this Kate McCann is a most untruthful female…dog that is! Her alibi, such as it is, is laffable of the highest hilarity factor! In the Pub?> Please, Katey, that is the oldest excuse in the book! It being one of many thousands in Kate’s new book, “Madeleine”. Which is based on the true story of Kate and Gerry raping and Mcmyrdering their daughter, only with Kate having a slightly happier ending. Mostly I am ipset by this alteration in the grand finale and the lack of villain which makes this book quite bland tbf (like you kno!!!)

I did enjoy a few chuckles in part two mind you as there are cummuppances amany shared between the Scottish klan. My sympathies lie with the two younger broods who, in all likelyhood, have probably also been taken and gone unnoticed. All in all this book takes a great romp of reality and softens it to a fine shite, fit for the U-bend autobach. Kate really plays up her character to the extent that it is impossible to feel anything but loathe for this icy cold witch and her lobotomy of a husband. Be restimg assured they will receive much post these coming weeks!

IF YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS DOIN’T GIVE HER BACK. She is probably leading a much happier life in the whohouse.

Six out of Ten